Today’s guest post is by author and publisher Draco Amethystus.
I have a confession. I love romantasy. I love reading it and I love writing it.
Oh, and I am a man.
I will be the first to admit that I feel awkward about that in different situations. I’ll hear female co-workers or even family members discussing their favorite romantasy books and my initial response is to want to slide on over and dive into the conversation with them. However, I often find myself hesitating. Sometimes, I level up my courage and participate. Other times, I remain a wallflower and don’t get to share. The times I don’t participate, I always feel cheated … cheated by myself. When I do get up the courage to do it, I’ve never had a bad experience. Inevitably, women have been inviting at the least and at the best downright excited a man is equally pumped by the genre.
My very favorite author to date is Sarah J. Maas. I want to be Rhys when I grow up. His character and his background speak to me as much as his desire to be better and decent. That’s one thing that romantasy does for me on a personal level. It gives me examples, however fictional they may be, of how I can better myself, how I can be decent.
The Romance Writers of America have reported that about 18% of romantasy readers are men. There are two ways to look at this, the proverbial glass being either half full or half empty. 18% isn’t a big percentage of romantasy readers, but the overall number has to be in the millions.
So, why should men read romantasy? We know already that they enjoy reading fantasy, so partly the question comes down to what men can gain from the romance portion of this genre. In an article from Book Riot, Why More Men Should Read Romance, Nikki DeMarco explains first and foremost that the genre is filled with hope. The form in which the “happily ever after” or “HEA” as readers know it, isn’t nearly as important as the fact that it occurs. In other words, romance, and by association, romantasy, can be extremely diverse in its delivery. This can be interesting to any reader, regardless of gender.
DeMarco goes on to say that men should read romance because it serves as a sort of unofficial manual for men to understand relationships. Since most of the genre is written by women and from female perspectives, it can help men see from their point of view and consequently, develop empathy for women and how they understand relationships.
The benefits of romantasy for men don’t stop there though.
Learn to listen
This means listening to the characters as well as to the women who read them. There are a number of reasons that women love the romance genre and why it has remained successful financially for so long. Active listening will mean, in part, being curious and asking the women in your life why and how it speaks to them. This is also just a sign of affection. Learn about the passions of those you love or care about. I’m a firm believer that we learn more about people through their passions than any other way.
Learn to open up emotionally
I’m not going to say that all male characters in romantasy are nothing but open feelings. They vary as much as human beings do. However, one thing that readers will often find is personal growth of the male characters. They will learn to open up and share. It might not be with everyone, perhaps only with their female love interest. But that opening, that vulnerability, does occur.
Why should anyone open up emotionally? Well, the simplest answer is that it helps us bond to those we care about, those we love. Again, it goes back to this idea of understanding the women in our lives better.
If that doesn’t convince you, then consider the fact that many women find vulnerability in their men attractive. They wouldn’t write so much about it if they didn’t.
Spice up your life
We don’t want to get too spicy here, but one of the other many profits of reading romantasy are fun ideas in the bedroom (or elsewhere?) for you and your partner(s).
Healthy bromances
Romantasy can show you what healthy bromances looks like. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had conversations with men who felt the need to denigrate women (among others) just in order to feel good about themselves. We can do better. We can be better. Romantasy bromances can show us the way. Without giving away any spoilers, just think about the Bat Boys in Sarah J. Maas’ A Court of Thorns and Roses series. Look at the space they create for one another to be less than their best but still loved. Don’t worry. They still fight and brawl and verbally joust, but they also share and care and honor one another. They do the same with the women in their lives.
It’s not a zero-sum game
Romantasy has powerful men. But it also has powerful women. This could be in magical terms or in political terms or in a number of other ways. If there is one lesson that romantasy can really teach men, it’s that powerful women are nothing to be afraid of. And fictional men are not a threat. I believe deeply in the old adage that rising tides lift all ships. I believe this for authors. I believe this for human beings. When we lift up others, regardless of gender, we’re lifting up ourselves as well, both as individuals and as communities.
Beyond the benefits of reading romantasy, there are some simple steps men can take to participate with it more. You can share it with your male friends. Let them know what you like about it so much. You don’t need to make a big deal about it. You can just explain that you read a book you enjoyed and why. However, if you are really passionate about the genre, you can start or participate in a book club. In fact, real-life romantasy bromance book clubs exist today. Finally, if you enjoy writing, you could be like me, and write in the genre as well.
Books are for everyone, both reading them and writing them. Genres are too. Gentlemen, let’s listen to what romantasy has to tell us. It’s more than worthwhile.
Draco Amethystus is an author of Romantasy, Fantasy, and Science Fiction. His debut novel is Class of 666, the first book in the Dark Academia Romantasy series, Purgatory Academy. He also owns and operates a small indie publishing company for fantasy and sci fi fans, Storm Dragon Publishing. SDP publishes writers and poets in an annual anthology called Muses of Mythology as a small way of supporting budding writers.
