What Can Stop Your Career From Ever Starting

Aurelio Asiain / Flickr
Aurelio Asiain / Flickr

Today’s guest post is by Emily Latham. Emily has been one of my students this past academic year at the University of Cincinnati and will graduate soon. In response to Jonathan Fields’ new release, Uncertainty, she wrote the following. The honesty was so remarkable that I asked her if she’d allow me to share her thoughts here.


I wasn’t sure if I should laugh, cry, slap myself on the forehead, or just nod erratically in agreement to this book. I relate to the fear of uncertainty, worry of judgment, and the suppression of creativity—and to the overall inclination to just play it safe.

I also couldn’t help but notice (not judge) that a lot of my peers act the same way in the face of uncertainty and judgment.

“I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.” Those are lyrics to one of my favorite songs, “Drive” by Incubus. I don’t think that I’ve ever thought about how much uncertainty plays a role in how I make decisions. The dark unknown is something that humans are not very comfortable with, and sadly I am not exempt. We are constantly searching to define the unknown. Not many people are complacent with not knowing.

What makes uncertainty hard for me is the possibility of failure. Not to succeed is a very hard reality to deal with. Will I be able to rebound if I do fail? Do I need to change my life goals if I do not succeed? Does failure mean I am doomed?

Those questions then lead to: If I do fail, how am I going to deal with telling people I failed? What are friends, family, coworkers going to think? What kind of judgments will people be passing on me? The fear of uncertainty certainly stings clear in my mind when thinking about the future.

I commonly deal with this fear of uncertainty and public scrutiny in two ways:

  1. Try with minimal effort.
  2. Don’t tell anyone until you succeed.

The age-old minimal effort deal is something that I have perfected. My peers also employ this method. It looks something like this:

I only studied for 30 minutes for the test.

I wrote this response right before class.

This class is stupid.

These are things I hear a lot from my peers, and I find myself doing it too. Studying a week for a test, or actually working on papers in advance, or admitting that classes are not stupid is probably the first step to recovery on this one. I tend to put in minimal effort to minimize the fear of failure. If you only try a little bit, then the failure isn’t so great. Furthermore, you make it known to everyone that you aren’t trying, so when your C- or B is handed back to you, it was because you didn’t try—not because you weren’t good enough.

The fear of trying your hardest and being rejected is ego crumbling. But how can I really improve if I don’t put myself out there?

The real mantra should be: “I don’t know the outcome, but I’m going to use whatever outcome there is to make it better.”

With the other tactic I employ—don’t tell anyone until you succeed—no one has to know I have failed, and better yet no one can judge me for it. But, as Fields discusses, I don’t have a certainty anchor. With no one to rely on, or without input, I might as well fail before I even try. It’s important put the ego and fear aside to learn to lean on people.

I don’t have all the answers—and clearly, after writing this, I should be thinking that I don’t need all the answers. My anchors won’t have all the answers either, but without support, facing the fear of uncertainty is a lot harder.

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Chihuahua Zero

I’m guilty of putting in minimal effort into my schoolwork sometimes too, but in a different way. I only put the right amount of effort to get an A, because I think that it doesn’t matter if I try my best, that what matters that I get a good grade.

This kind of behavior might kill my academics as my schoolwork gets harder, but I’m still trying to deal with work ethic and social skills.

Turndog Millionaire

Fear is a killer and I certainly emphasis with this. It is easier to just plod on by and never fail, but great things don’t happen without some risk and hard work

It’s tough, but sometimes you just have to man up

At least that’s what I keep telling myself

Matt (Turndog Millionaire)

Amy Burton Storey

Fear is my #1 dream killer. You explain that feeling beautifully. Thank you for your article.

Perry Block

Great points that have applied to me all my life.

So don’t tell anybody that I read this.  After all,  I only read it very quickly!

Mieke Zamora-Mackay

Someone’s figured me out.

Lynne Spreen

Dear Emily, here’s some advice from an old broad. 
In sales, they say you have to hear “no” 12 times for every one “yes”. Whether exactly true or not, the message is, GET OUT THERE AND FAIL! If you ain’t failin’, sister, you ain’t trying.
Be proud that you had the courage to try! It’s a character-builder. Get used to failure and you’ll be set free.I sometimes ask myself, what would you do if you weren’t afraid of failing? Like if a fairy godmother gave you one “success guaranteed” ticket? Well, here’s the deal: if you don’t try, you’ll never know if you COULD have succeeded. Maybe you have the ticket and don’t even know it.Best wishes!

Vaughn Roycroft

I tried to use ‘don’t tell until you succeed,’ but now too many of my friends, neighbors, acquaintences know I’m trying to get my books published. I’ve been at it for too long to use the minimal effort schtick. I feel like I’m still growing as a writer, but how do you explain to someone you see twice a year socially that you wrote a well-respected blog post, or that you got some meaningful critiques from literary agents when they rejected a partial? How do you explain that you’re actually still revising a book they know you finished three years ago? What do you say when they ask why you don’t just self-publish it, because they heard Amanda Hocking made a million dollars?

I’m fifty years old. I should be able to embrace my own growth, pass if off with a few jokes in social situations. Why should I care what they think? Unfortunately, I’m not quite there yet. But I’m working on it. Guess I’d better buy Fields’ book. Good for Emily for getting so much out of the book. Recognition is half the battle.  

Shirley Sorbello

You express your feelings very well. Failure, however, is a natural part of life.  Without it, we cannot grow—emotionally, mentally, or  spiritually. Failures can be life-changing events that put you on a wonderful pathway that you would have otherwise never found. A life without failure, is a life that’s not-lived to its fullest. 

Sharon Bayliss

That’s a great post. I have had to make the decision that I want to do this even if I fail miserably. Accepting failure and consciously deciding to do it anyway, just sort of puts it at the back of your mind. Still scared though. 🙂

daretoeatapeach

Funny, I was thinking about this moments ago while reading an interview with the editor of Good.  I’ve been doing some writing here and there for extra cash, but have been too scared to pitch to the real magazines that pay well. Partly it’s that I don’t believe I’m good enough yet, but I also think the fears mentioned in this article play into it.

Today I was featured on a writing site for work that I had been keeping to myself for six years. It’s a solid example of how getting out in public where you can be held accountable will make your work better. But will that be enough to push us past the first thing, the minimal effort? I don’t know how to get past that.