I’ve lately had a series of writers confide in me about rejections. It’s reminded me how much rejection is almost never a career setback, but a psychological one.
Author Aline Ohanesian (@alineohanesian) shares an excellent story about dealing with rejection. In the first part of the story, she explains how she’s tried to help her children overcome rejection by friends—which is dubbed the “shopping for fruit” story by the family:
We remind him that he is a ripe juicy apple and the person saying no is either allergic to apples, can’t handle any more fiber, or, more likely, just felt like eating oranges that day. Rejection is rarely personal, we tell them. It has very little to do with what’s being chosen or not chosen, and everything to do with the person choosing.
But when Aline gets a particularly difficult rejection, she realizes how ineffective the “shopping for fruit” story is. Click here to read about her realization.
Aline’s story is just one of several in the latest Glimmer Train bulletin, which offers insights into the writing life:
- Vulnerability and Human Connection by Christa Romanosky
- Be the Tortoise, Not the Hare by Andy Roe
- This Ain’t Your Grandma’s Publishing Industry by Mojie Crigler
Jane Friedman has spent nearly 25 years working in the book publishing industry, with a focus on author education and trend reporting. She is the editor of The Hot Sheet, the essential publishing industry newsletter for authors, and was named Publishing Commentator of the Year by Digital Book World in 2023. Her latest book is The Business of Being a Writer (University of Chicago Press), which received a starred review from Library Journal. In addition to serving on grant panels for the National Endowment for the Arts and the Creative Work Fund, she works with organizations such as The Authors Guild to bring transparency to the business of publishing.
I love the point Ohanesian made about wanting to be able to fail and get back up again. Rejection takes endurance, but it makes the victory that much sweeter.
Rejection can be psychological damaging, but it doesn’t have to be. It should be remembered that rejection is not a rejection of you, but of your story. Unless it is self-rejection, an entirely different matter. Rejection is not to be ashamed of, but can be part of the writing/publishing experience.
[…] Don’t let NEGATIVITY and REJECTION stop your MOMENTUM. Gird up your loins, ENCOURAGE Yourself, and KEEP GOING!!!Rejection May Not Be Personal, But … | Jane Friedman […]
I find rejection is part of a process all authors seem to find themselves having to deal with at some point in their writing careers. With the advent of Amazon and the removal of the ‘gate keepers’ rejection is generally of no mind to many, many authors nowadays. The buying audience determine the longevity and sale-ability of an authors works and not 1 (one) person at a publishing house.