I’ve lately had a series of writers confide in me about rejections. It’s reminded me how much rejection is almost never a career setback, but a psychological one.
Author Aline Ohanesian (@alineohanesian) shares an excellent story about dealing with rejection. In the first part of the story, she explains how she’s tried to help her children overcome rejection by friends—which is dubbed the “shopping for fruit” story by the family:
We remind him that he is a ripe juicy apple and the person saying no is either allergic to apples, can’t handle any more fiber, or, more likely, just felt like eating oranges that day. Rejection is rarely personal, we tell them. It has very little to do with what’s being chosen or not chosen, and everything to do with the person choosing.
But when Aline gets a particularly difficult rejection, she realizes how ineffective the “shopping for fruit” story is. Click here to read about her realization.
Aline’s story is just one of several in the latest Glimmer Train bulletin, which offers insights into the writing life:
- Vulnerability and Human Connection by Christa Romanosky
- Be the Tortoise, Not the Hare by Andy Roe
- This Ain’t Your Grandma’s Publishing Industry by Mojie Crigler
Jane Friedman has spent her entire career working in the publishing industry, with a focus on business reporting and author education. Established in 2015, her newsletter The Bottom Line provides nuanced market intelligence to thousands of authors and industry professionals; in 2023, she was named Publishing Commentator of the Year by Digital Book World.
Jane’s expertise regularly features in major media outlets such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, The Today Show, Wired, The Guardian, Fox News, and BBC. Her book, The Business of Being a Writer, Second Edition (The University of Chicago Press), is used as a classroom text by many writing and publishing degree programs. She reaches thousands through speaking engagements and workshops at diverse venues worldwide, including NYU’s Advanced Publishing Institute, Frankfurt Book Fair, and numerous MFA programs.
I love the point Ohanesian made about wanting to be able to fail and get back up again. Rejection takes endurance, but it makes the victory that much sweeter.
Rejection can be psychological damaging, but it doesn’t have to be. It should be remembered that rejection is not a rejection of you, but of your story. Unless it is self-rejection, an entirely different matter. Rejection is not to be ashamed of, but can be part of the writing/publishing experience.
[…] Don’t let NEGATIVITY and REJECTION stop your MOMENTUM. Gird up your loins, ENCOURAGE Yourself, and KEEP GOING!!!Rejection May Not Be Personal, But … | Jane Friedman […]
I find rejection is part of a process all authors seem to find themselves having to deal with at some point in their writing careers. With the advent of Amazon and the removal of the ‘gate keepers’ rejection is generally of no mind to many, many authors nowadays. The buying audience determine the longevity and sale-ability of an authors works and not 1 (one) person at a publishing house.