2 Questions You Should Memorize for Networking Events

The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg

Right now I’m teaching a senior capstone course that prepares e-media seniors to graduate and enter the workforce. There are two required texts: The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg and Uncertainty by Jonathan Fields. Why these two books?

  • The Ellsberg book focuses on all the practical stuff you don’t get taught in school (at least not typically): how to turn passion into a paying career, how to learn sales and marketing, how to find mentors and network, how to build your brand.
  • The Fields book focuses on training yourself to be better at handling uncertainty and risk, which we all know is abundant in any worthwhile creative endeavor. I excerpted this book last year; if you missed it, read: A Hidden Aspect of Creative Life That Underpins Great Work.

But to get to the key point: In the Ellsberg book, what has stuck with me, months after initially reading it, are his two questions to help you network with anyone, but particularly those who reside higher on the food chain than you. Quoting directly:

I’m going to teach you two questions that, if you put them into use at parties, events, and conferences, will change your life forever and will grow your network faster than you ever thought possible.

1. What’s most exciting for you right now in your life/business?

2. What’s challenging for you in your life/business right now?

Ellsberg believes—and I agree—that everyone (even those more successful than you) are struggling with at least one area or issue where you might know more than they do. To explore this issue more—and to get a deep dive into how to use these questions with the right attitude—then I highly urge you to get the book.

While I’m talking about Ellsberg, I’ll go ahead and point you to his Forbes blog, where he has some invaluable advice for writers:

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Jim Hamlett

Very timely, Jane. I have a young friend who is about to attend her first writers conference. She just emailed to ask if I’d look over her book proposal, one-sheet, and listen to her pitch. I will be forwarding a link for this post to her. Thanks.

MellieW

Umm, Ellsberg had me until “meditate”. Sorry. Now I’m afraid to look at Fields’ work… Some of us just ain’t that Californian. 

Jane Friedman

Sorry it doesn’t work for you! For the record, I’m from Indiana and live in Cincinnati—Midwestern through and through.

That said, I love Alan Watts. Though I didn’t discover him from a Californian, but a Kansas man.

Bri Clark

The other key ingredient here is sincerity. When you ask really mean it. Pay attention and take record of what they are saying. Thanks Jane! Always great stuff.

shirleyhs

Every college student would benefit from a course like this one right before Real World 101 and student loan payments hit! Ones who apply this advice will prosper.

Laura

Once again Jane you’ve delivered by sharing  fantastic words of wisdom. 
Thanks.

Josh Hogg

I swear Ellsberg writes some of the longest blog posts I’ve ever seen. Will need to save these for later when I have more time. Just spent a good 20 minutes going through the Tim Ferriss Post. Thanks for the links Jane!

Llbarkat

Fun. 🙂 Those are two questions I often ask the people who work with me! And, yes, these questions often lead to unexpected places. Some of the columns we developed at Tweetspeak came directly from such conversations.

Llbarkat

Fun. 🙂 Those are two questions I often ask the people who work with me! And, yes, these questions often lead to unexpected places. Some of the columns we developed at Tweetspeak came directly from such conversations.

Llbarkat

okay, and I just bought the two books. I figure it will make me feel like I took the class with you 🙂

Jane Friedman

🙂 I think you’ll love both books, particularly the Ellsberg if you’re taking on an entrepreneurial venture!

Joe Lalonde

Thanks for sharing this information Jane! It inspired me to write a blog post with my answers to the 2 questions and challenging my readers to think about the questions they’ll ask when networking. Post should go live on the 9th.