Placing Too Much Importance on Passion

Red Maple by Bruce / Flickr
Red Maple by Bruce / Flickr

Passion has become a cheap word. I’m starting to roll my eyes when I hear it. But it hasn’t always been this way.

It all started when I read a 2010 post by Siddhartha Herdegen, “Why You Don’t Need Passion to Be Successful.” It was the first time I questioned one of my dearly held personal values: passion for my day-to-day work.

For the past year, I’ve been on the admissions committee for the E-Media Division at the University of Cincinnati, and I’ve become numb to students who claim, “[x] is my passion.”

If true, who cares? Every other student has a passion, too. What matters is how that translates into action. Show me what you’ve done because of your passion. Show me through action that you really mean it and aren’t flirting with it. Show me that you’ve struggled and remained resilient. Show me that you have discipline.

Recently, I ran across this quote:

Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.

—Robert Sternberg

I’ve taught hundreds of students with passion. I teach few students with commitment to do the best work possible.

I think part of the problem is how we define passion, so allow me to introduce Herdegen’s definition:

Passion is a deep connection to an idea, a strong bond which creates a feeling of desire. It contains elements of both commitment and excitement but is not limited to them.

Passion plus commitment is not too common in my experience. More often you find:

  • a person with a passion for something but lacking talent (sometimes due to lack of ability to practice for the time required, lack of a mentor, etc.)
  • a person with a talent for something without a passion for pursuing it
  • a person with either talent or passion but no ability to commit (whether through life circumstance or otherwise)

I run into all of these types—at school, at conferences, in daily conversation.

It seems like the cultural myth these days is that we ought to be pursuing our passion; otherwise we will be unhappy. I’m not so sure that’s true any more. As long as we do work that feels satisfying—that complements our personal values and strengths—we can all do just fine, especially if we have relationships that are also fulfilling and satisfying.

There’s another category of person I haven’t mentioned: those struggling to figure out what their passion is. The questions I then pose are:

  • What are you avoiding? (There’s a reason, and don’t feel guilty about it.)
  • What activities or interactions do you most look forward to, anticipate, and hope for more of?
  • What activities or interactions do you value or prioritize on a daily basis?
  • What activities can you get lost in? (Time stops; you’re in the flow.)

The answers might not lead to “passion” + “commitment,” but I think they help pave the way to a happier life.

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Janice Lane Palko

Excellent post.  I’ve been in writing groups where writing is talked about more so than actually putting words on a page.  I love writing, but passion comes and goes for it.  If I waited until I felt the passion to write, some days I’d never produce anything. 

Cate Hawthorne

Very True.

Johanna Harness

Yes. It’s easy to have passion for the idea of something and not be at all interested in the day to day work of it.

Joanne Tombrakos

As always, a thought provoking post. I think there are levels of passion and most of us, unfortunately feel none when it comes to our work. We think if it is work, we are not supposed to like it, nor do we deserve to. Our culture reinforces that. That said we wind up with too many of us who don’t take the time to think about what might drive us with some level of passion, or we know and we do nothing about it. Those generally seem to be the same people who look at those of us willing to go for it  and do something about it with sheer amazement.

Jane Friedman

Yes! Agreed.

NJS

Turning that around, I often run into the problem that if I enjoy something that is obviously
part of my work, I still feel guilty devoting time to it because I would enjoy myself. It doesn’t feel like I’m working hard enough.

JamesHRH

Joanne – my father practised criminal law, in Canada (slightly different that US legal career). He practised over 50 years, loved what he did, but never used the word passion.

He told me ‘it was the only thing I really thought I could accel at’ (likely untrue), that ‘it suited him in many ways’ (very true) and that he ‘liked it so much it did not feel like work’ (lucky).

As Chris Rock says (and I doubt he has a passion for comedy, but you never know) ‘when you have a career, the first time you check the clock it 8 minutes to 6. When you have a job, its 8 minutes after 9!’.

The point is not to have passion, but to align yourself with work that suits you and that you have some aptitude to do.

I look for self knowledge and understanding of the gig when recruiting. And a willingness to do what it takes to get the job done.

And, I would rather work with someone who felt a personal responsibility to the overall objective (team centred) – any day and every day – than someone who was passionate about the issue (self centred).

Jane Friedman

Thanks for sharing that Chris Rock sentiment. I find that to true—as well as your final note about working with people who have personal responsibility to the objective rather than passion.

JamesHRH

That comes directly from a key leader in a major league sports franchise, who won the championship in his sport last year (and got hired by my club this year, hallelujah!).

More and more, sporting success is determined by group oriented emotional / mental skills, rather than individual physical / emotional or mental skills.

In essence, coaching is so sophisticated that you can ‘coach up’ people with strong desire and close the gap on opponents natural physical advantages.

This makes physical advantages less valuable in team sports, than they were 30-40 years ago.

More than ever, leadership, environment and culture are contributing to sporting success.

It is a neat barometer of the enhanced competition in that arena. It is something that almost everyone is dealing with in the early 21st century – with authors at the top of the list!

jamesscottbell

Right on, Jane. It’s not the will to win that counts but the will to PREPARE to win. Easy to have the first, but not always the second. 

JamesHRH

That’s a Bear Bryant quote. Another good one, that is more specific to his sport is: “football games are won on Tuesdays (in practise), not on Saturdays (game day)”.

Matt Gartland

I’m witnessing this argument being made more and more. And the more I process it, the more I agree with it. It’s sad though.

I still believe “passion” (as you/Herdegen define it) is a requisite element to realize fulfillment from one’s work. Therein lies the most grievous abuse of the word, me thinks…

Namely, that passion – a powerfully inward, intrinsic and (dare I say) private quality for personal motivation and joy – has been forced (cough mutated cough) into an outward, manufactured and (dare I say) sensationalized quality meant to please the marketing gods.

Like any precious resource, the more we carelessly throw it about the more we accelerate our rush toward the inevitable: apathy.

Jane Friedman

Absolutely. Todd Henry has posted a fabulous response to this post that touches on this “outward, manufactured, sensationalized quality”:
http://www.toddhenry.com/living/reluctant-but-resolved-a-challenge-to-die-empty/

Cindy T

I was a believer in that cultural myth…until about 3 minutes ago.  Thanks, Jane – I owe ya.

Jane Friedman

LOL!  🙂

Gayla Grace

Love your thoughts and I agree. It’s easy to identify our passions but are we willing to take the steps toward being successful within our passion through discipline and commitment. Wonderful ideas to toss around with college students (we  currently have three in college – will be sharing). Thanks!

Jane Friedman

Agree about college-age students. Trying to identify more ways to convey this message to them.

Amy Alkon

You may be interested in the work of an evolutionary psych friend of mine, NYU prof Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman (@sbkaufman and creativitypost.com), who writes on creativity and measures of success. He posts on the different things that go into success and recently did a post on self-control and intelligence with self-control mattering a great deal in achievement. 

Jane Friedman

Thanks for mentioning! I’ll check out his work.

Emily Koon

I think you raise a good point about the definition of passion. For a lot of people, it just means “I don’t think X sucks,” and that isn’t the same thing. Maybe the problem is that we are just a culture of very low bars. When I hear passion, I want to hear about people driving themselves off cliffs, in the Byronic sense of not being able to stop yourself. I hear this a lot from writers, who talk about being “born to write.” “I can’t not write, etc.” Well I can. I do it all the time. It’s called doing other stuff, and it’s fine. Good post, thanks!

Jane Friedman

Ha! Yes, I know exactly the type of writer you mean.

Joe Lalonde

You’re right Jane. Passion alone will not get much done. You’ve got to take action.