If You Watch Less TV, Will You Be Happier?

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Indiana Academy Halloween

Indiana Academy Halloween - I'm in the back row, right next to ghost.

I’m now moving through Clay Shirky’s Cognitive Surplus, which begins with a study revealing that the more time you spend watching TV, the more likely you are to be unhappy. That’s because you’re sacrificing “relating” time (or social activities) for passive-alone time (where the TV characters become your “friends” to assuage loneliness).

I’ve been giving this some serious thought.

And I just connected it to another observation: During the times when I’ve been most happy, it was while deeply embedded in a tight-knit social group, where I never even thought about TV, much less owned one.

Those three times:

  • High school at the Indiana Academy. By graduation, I was voted Biggest Lounge Rat because I spent so much time socializing in the common lounges (usually playing cards). I never went to my room until it was absolutely mandatory. I didn’t watch even 10 minutes of TV while there.
  • Living and studying abroad in the UK. I studied abroad on two occasions, and both times, I was almost always in the common areas, or out with friends. No access to TV even if I’d wanted it.
  • Working at the college newspaper. The newsroom did have a crappy B&W set, but no one ever turned it on. I spent all my waking hours there—aside from classes—and retreated to my dorm room only for sleep (but there wasn’t a TV there anyway).

Since leaving college, I’ve never been a huge consumer of TV, but I’ve definitely spent many passive hours watching Tivo’d shows, DVDs or streaming video. I’d like to think the story lines of shows like Six Feet Under or Lost have changed my life—or that I have some control over what I decide to passively consume.

It feels tougher to be as social as I was in college, even though I do think I was happier as a result. As adults, it feels like we’re all paired up (with partners), or obligated to take care of family.

I dream of a time when I can return to a close-knit community, with that deep feeling of satisfaction and meaningful involvement. There’s nothing like it.

  • http://twitter.com/fivecats tom franklin

    When i decided to take my writing seriously, the first thing I did was cut out television. We would often sit down and watch TV while we ate dinner and, before we knew it, the evening was gone. The idea of TV as Timesuck and the growing sense of a lack of accomplishment was enough to push me away from the TV and into a quiet space where I could write.

    And while writing and editing has its own annoying frustrations, I am happier than I was.

    …

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Yes! I know exactly what you mean – eating dinner while watching TV – suddenly it's time for bed. Right now, eating dinner while watching TV is an extremely guilty pleasure for me. I try to avoid, since it leads to other unhealthy habits.

  • http://principlesoffailure.blogspot.com/ SHerdegen

    Television is both an individual and a shared activity. I feel self-conscious going by myself to a play, concert or sporting event, but perfectly at ease watching TV alone. However, I can also watch TV with a friend and feel like it’s a shared experience that brings us closer together even if we don’t have a conversation about what we’re watching.

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    So glad you made this point, which I think is often missed in a discussion of TV — that it can be a shared experience … though I have to admit being preferential to shows that spark conversations between friends/partners.

  • http://twitter.com/Scath G L Drummond

    I didn't start writing until I cut out TV watching completely, which I did because I was sick of the channels being taken over by reality shows.

  • Nobilis

    Television always feels like wasted time to me. When I want to relax, I play video games. The only exception are shows that are mandated by my writing mentor–currently, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.

  • http://www.iwriteya.blogspot.com KelleyVitollo

    I don't watch TV. Well, once in a while. I watch one show a week so I watch an hour. LOL. If I have the time to watch TV, I'd rather be writing or reading so that's what I do :) My husband and I do rent movies now and again.

    Kelley Vitollo

  • http://www.plottopunctuation.com/blog/ Jason Black

    TV: mostly a total time suck. Certainly it doesn't help me build relationships.

    But once in a while, a show comes on that is at once amazingly entertaining as well as being fascinating from the perspective of story craft or characterization.

    E.g., anyone who hasn't watched 'Leverage' has missed out on a intensive Masters-level seminar in crafting wickedly delightful reversals within a plot. Anyone who hasn't watched 'House' has missed out on an equally intensive lesson in anti-heroes: how to get viewers (or readers) to love an utter bastard.

    That's when TV really shines for me. It is at its best when it shows me how I can in turn be a better writer.

  • Ami

    I agree with Tom Franklin. Our family has been TV-free since 1994. (We do watch DVDs, though. Watching something is a conscious choice — as you said, a guilty pleasure.”) I can honestly say that we don't miss it. In fact, when I go someplace where I can't escape it, I find myself extremely annoyed by the commercial breaks and the overt desperate wheedling for my attention. I like some TV shows, but prefer to watch them on my own time & without commercial interruption.

  • dianeshipley

    This really isn't my experience. :)

    TV has been a great comfort to me at many times in my life (not least when I was housebound through serious illness and none of my friends wanted to know), and there are some characters (or I guess, writers) who seem to understand me better than anyone else. You might say that's sad, but I think the way television captures the concerns of our society and reflects them back to us in a way that helps things better make sense, is genuinely important.

    TV is far from a solitary experience, as a lot of people are experiencing the same thing as you — and with new media you can even connect with them, and maybe make new friends.

    Some online friends and I are re-watching My So-Called Life at the moment (one episode a week), and tweeting about it at the same time. This was a show that perfectly captured the teen experience and made me feel less of a freak, and now I find out this group of people all felt the same, and we can enjoy it together. It's amazing.

    Also, as writer, shows like MSCL, The West Wing, and many other well-structured programs are free lessons in dialogue, wit, and exposition. (Whether you write novels or memoir or what.)

    AND I love to write about TV itself, and see what it's saying about our culture. It's the best way to find out what we're preoccupied with, and speculating about why can be fascinating/illuminating.

    To me, it's far from a frivolous waste of time or something that makes me miserable. It's life-enhancing. And I refuse to see it as something to feel guilty about.

  • http://geniawriter.wordpress.com/ Genia Shipman

    I love television. I used to write for television. (Got 5 one-hour drama episodes produced in the late 90s.) Some of the best writing out there is on television.

    It *can* be a time-suck, especially “reality” TV. I cannot imagine a bigger waste of time and brain cells than crap like “Real Housewives of” wherever, most of the stuff on E!, and the entire lineup of the Game Show Network. But…

    MAD MEN is incredibly rich storytelling. CASTLE gives us a little peek inside the act of being a writer. RIZZOLI & ISLES, based on Tess Gerritson's work, is a heck of a lot of fun; same goes for TRUE BLOOD, based on Charlaine Harris's series.

    There's a lot (a LOT) of great stuff on TV. The key is to avoid the crap and don't use it for ambient noise. When you watch, watch with intention.

  • David Jarrett

    Our time alive is something over which we ultimately have no control. I refuse wasting much of mine watching productions as inane as what TV puts before us now. Even the network news programs, being “for profit” productions, are geared toward sensationalism and often what used to be called yellow journalism. Add to those the commercial “messages” that are increasing in frequency by the day, and it is a no-brainer for me — I don't watch unless I find a movie I want to see on a premium cable channel.

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    I hear you. The only one I ever got roped into was Survivor. Watched it for 3 seasons, enough for 1 lifetime.

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    I have been guilty of playing Civ IV for 8 hours straight. Dangerous game.

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Now I'm wondering what show takes that prized hour! Must be a good one?

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Haven't seen either of those shows! Will have to investigate.

  • http://www.saturdaymorningmemoir.wordpress.com Memoirista

    I LOVE tv. That being said, when I watch it I WATCH IT. No reading a magazine and watching tv, no paying bills and watching tv. . NO FACEBOOK and watching tv. If I'm going to watch Mad Men (or okay, a LifeTime movie – sue me!), I'm going to watch it. I say own your tv watching and enjoy it. .

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Your comment makes me wonder how effective the traditional TV commercial spot can be these days. Feels like an innovation is needed. (Maybe the Old Spice campaign is a very small indicator …)

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Must agree that TV watching isn't the solitary activity it used to be — for example, Lostpedia — a completely viewer-powered creative endeavor.

    My favorite shows have been life-enhancing as well, and impossible to feel guilty over. I'm all for less guilt, in general. :)

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Thanks so much for the comment!

    One of my creative writing professors/mentors said recently that he believes we're now experiencing The Golden Age of Television — a time of rich and complex narratives that stretch and build over a season. I do wonder if some of the best narrative genius of our time can be found more readily on TV than at the cinema.

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Oh boy! Network and cable news—we could start a whole new comment thread on that topic!

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    I just realized I do multi-task during movies (watching at home) but never a TV show. Probably because I'm often disappointed by movies, and/or use them as background noise to get something else done.

  • dianeshipley

    Yes, less guilt is good! :)

    I wasn't familiar with the Lostipedia — how amazing. Another eg of how TV affects people would be fanfic communities (it's not all rude stuff LOL). I think TV fits into our need to connect and relate, and if we watch consciously, that's when it's life-enhancing.

    Having written this big defence of TV however, I'm sure there are some shows that I've watched that were a total waste of time/my life. (I used to watch My Super Sweet 16 and I have no idea why).

  • http://www.UnchartedParent.com Tracy Hahn-Burkett

    Jane, I share your wistfulness for time of “close-knit community” that was so accessible in collegiate days. It's just as you say, though: adult realities and responsibilities make it impossible to bond on a daily, consistent, in-person basis the way we could when we were younger. As I recall, this dynamic was cited more than once as a reason that the sitcom “Friends” was so popular while it was on the air: so many of us wished we could carry that tight-knit social group with us out into the real world. (Never mind that those six beautiful people hardly lived real lives. Willing suspension of disbelief, right?)

    As for TV now: it can be a complete waste of time, or if you're careful how you use it, you can actually get something out of it–just like most things. I tend to watch almost nothing when it first comes out unless it happens to relate to a subject I'm researching for my writing. After a season or two, if reviews and people whose opinions I trust convince me a series is worthwhile, I'll rent a disk from Netflix and then catch up if I like it. And when that happens, the show does become a social-bonding experience for me and my husband AND for me and my friends (in-person and on Twitter).

    And for what it's worth, my entire history of reality-TV viewing consists of the second season of American Idol. Somehow, I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

  • Deborah Lucas

    I might have agreed with you when I was younger, but now I relish my alone time. Whether it's watching a movie, reading a book, writing, or just pulling weeds in the garden, it gets done when I'm the only one here. That's one of the joys of having a husband that travels for work. I love it when he comes home, and I love it when it's time for him to leave again.

    I do have a few (accent on “few”) friends that I see regularly, and know I couldn't live without their counsel and companionship. Being a creative person takes quiet time with lots of focus. When people are around, I'm not very good at saying “no” when someone wants or needs something that I can provide. Anyway, all the exciting events that I would like to attend are an hour away. By the time I take care of the animals and get dressed and out of here–well, you see the picture. So, I am grateful for my few quality friendships and for the new ones that I am making over the internet.

  • Deborah Lucas

    Don't forget “Lie to me.” It's one of the few T.V. dramas that I can't usually guess the ending to–it trips me up a lot, and I really like that.

  • Deborah Lucas

    I love to catch clever product placement. It's the only commercials I watch. I tivo everything! When the show is almost over, I start at the beginning and fast forward through all the commercials. Times they are a changing.

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    Our TV-watching habits sound VERY similar. :)

  • http://www.teresabrucebooks.com Teresa

    TV watching may just be the symptom – or a way to beat yourself up about what happens naturally. You're right – it has to do with people pairing up and feeling obligated to partners or guilty if they pursue a passion on their own. I have a sister in law who takes separate vacations from her husband, which seems sad. Then again, so is their marriage. I wonder if group vacations, in intense and foreign places, with old friends and new, is a way to reconnect? The only other people I know who seem as intensely connected now as they were in college are those who work on political campaigns…ugh, there has to be a better way….

  • RaihanahMM

    i completely agree with you, jason. in fact those are the same two shows i try not to miss. i agree with ur reading of both, albeit i am secretly attracted to Dr House who i considered socially challenged.
    I wrote about him in my blog back in 2008. this is my reading of the character:

    “Perhaps its his bluer than blue eyes or tall lanky stature, or that choy smile he pulls when something unexpected crosses his path, or that quip tongue of his that always has something or other to say about something or other; i don't know exactly but i will say this, i love that he is so good at what he does that it does not matter what people think of him or the way he carries himself. He does not need to justify himself to the world and yet has an important function in it. I don't see myself in the character in anyway but i do have a strong need to want that sense of purpose in life – being so good at what you do that it appears as if you are almost born to do just that. My search continues. “

  • http://www.plottopunctuation.com/blog/ Jason Black

    Heh. He is definitely that. Good at what he does, I mean. I wrote about House on my blog a few months ago as well, and that's one of the points I touched on too: http://bit.ly/9kcB7w

  • http://www.janefriedman.com Jane Friedman

    I suppose this is why the book club phenomenon is so popular … or why bowling alleys are making a comeback? :)

  • http://terripatrick.wordpress.com/ terri patrick

    I really only like TV when it is a shared experience, like family movie nights or when my friends are all into a show together and we share the experience by discussing the characters and such even though we watched it alone. Certain TV shows have also been part of my social time with coworkers, making some grueling projects a little easier to endure.

    I think your point about it being a passive-solo activity that sucks the happiness from your life is true. But TV does have positive connection value too. My hubby used to travel extensively and now works from home and still connects with people around the country daily and the people he likes the most are the ones he can talk to about the TV shows they like to watch.

    As a writer, I can't watch a TV show without analyzing the plot, motivations, twists, etc. So I prefer not watching TV because it's not passive for me, it feels more like work. :)

  • Colin

    TV is a tool. What you do with it is up to you.

    I like to look at the program listings early in the day, to see what’s on. I’ll pick one or two programs I want to watch, and that will be about it.